Why Does My Cat Knead Me And Not My Husband?

Why Does My Cat Knead Me And Not My Husband?

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Kneading is an adorable cat behavior that is often referred to as “making biscuits.” There’s nothing sweeter than when your cat snuggles up in your lap and begins to knead, but you may wonder, “why does my cat knead me and not my husband?”

In this article we’ll dive into the reasons why your cat kneads their paws, and discuss why your cat only does this to you. 

cat kneading


Why do cats knead?

Kneading is a common behavior in cats of all ages. Though some cats simply knead their paws to soothe themselves to sleep, there are a few possible reasons as to how this behavior starts. 

  • To claim certain objects or people as theirs
  • They were weaned too young, and the kneading motion is associated with the comfort of nursing
  • To stretch their paws 
  • Some materials feel good on their paws
  • To show that they see you as a motherly figure
  • To show other cats they would like to mate

No matter the exact reason behind your cat’s kneading, it’s likely a form of comfort in some way. Now that you know the possible reasons behind the behavior, let’s dive into why cats knead on certain people rather than others. 

So why do cats knead some people but not others?

Does your cat seem to gravitate toward you when it’s time to settle down, but never seems to run toward your husband for their kneading session? Let’s dive into a few reasons why.

cat kneading

Kneading Is Tied To Bonding

Since kneading is a behavior that is tied to comfort, cats tend to run to those who they are most bonded with. Think of a child that is in search of security and happiness, as this is likely how your kneading cat feels when they run to you. Just like a child is more likely to run to the person they are closest to for comforting, your cat will do the same as well. If your cat is closer to you than they are to your husband, they will likely choose you over them when it’s time to knead. 

Cats Tend To Knead On Those In A Motherly Role

Some cats knead their paws in effort to simulate the feeling they had when they would nurse on their mother. Kneading their tiny paws on their mother’s stomach would stimulate milk production as they nursed, so it’s no wonder this soothing action is carried with them throughout their lives. Due to this action involving their mother, they will likely choose to knead on a “motherly” figure in their home. This is often the person they are closest to in the home.

Cats Like To Knead On People That Care For Them

Cats know who it is that takes care of them each day. Whether it’s offering them their meals, cleaning their litter box, or any other act of care; our furry friends are aware and grateful! It’s natural to bond with the person who performs these tasks each day, meaning your cat may come to you and knead on you when they are searching for comfort. If your husband is not involved in daily care, this may be the reason why your cat does not knead on him. 

Cats Like To Knead On Those With A Cozy Spot

Cats tend to pick up on the areas in which they get the best nap. If they know that around a certain time of day you will be sitting on your couch with a cozy blanket, they are likely to jump up and start kneading! Your cat may knead on the person that sits on the couch for a few hours at a time, cuddles with a warm blanket, or any other invitation for the perfect nap. If your husband does not like to sit around for a period long enough for your cat to enjoy a nap, then this may be one of the reasons your cat does not knead on him. 

Some Cats Prefer To Knead Certain Material

Sometimes our cats use us for the cozy blanket in our lap. This may be the case if it seems like your cat only shows up to cuddle and knead on you when you have your favorite fuzzy blanket out. If your husband is not one to use blankets during down time, your cat may not want to jump into their lap. 

cat kneading

Encourage Your Cat To Knead On Your Husband

If your husband is feeling a bit left out, there are a few ways to encourage your cat to knead on them instead! Here are a few tips to help your cat feel a bit closer to your husband:

  • Have your husband participate in their daily care. This includes feeding, litter box cleaning, playtime, etc. 
  • Encourage more one on one moments between your husband and cat to promote bonding. You can do this with daily petting sessions, daily brushing, offering treats, daily playtime, etc. 
  • Ask your husband to try to set aside a time each day that your cat can jump up into his lap and cuddle. Extra points if he has a fuzzy blanket in his lap!
  • Try to always make the area next to your husband as comfortable as possible. This means having him sit with your cat’s favorite blanket, their favorite toy, and any other objects that offer your cat comfort. 
  • Try to establish a routine that involves your husband setting aside time to hangout with your cat. Establishing a “cuddle routine” teaches your cat when your husband is ready and available to knead on. 

Encouraging your cat to knead on your husband is all about bonding. If your husband wants to have a stronger bond with their favorite feline friend, he just needs to put in a little extra work!


Now that you better understand the kneading behavior, you can begin to grasp why your cat tends to knead on you more than your husband. Be sure to review the tips above on how to promote bonding between your husband and your cat, and your cat will soon be kneading on your husband as well!

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